The Right Decision?

Two days ago, I went skating for the first time in almost 2 months. And for some people that might not seem like a long time, but for me, it seems like forever. My whole life, all the way through college, was defined by skating. Sure, I had other interests, but skating was my constant. And once something is such a big part of your life, especially your whole life, once you don't have it for even just the tiniest bit of time, that's when you find out how much you really miss it. And I found out that I missed it a lot. Skating is something that will always be a part of my life - I plan on coaching for as long as I'm able to, I won't miss another Grand Prix event, Nationals, Worlds, you name it, on TV again (sorry friends), and my kids will most likely skate too (sorry in advance to you too).

But there is one part of skating that I still have to figure out - what I'm doing with my own skating. After graduation this past May, I was home all summer and I skated a lot. I was on the ice 5 days a week for 2 hours each day. For those of you who don't know much about the skating world, most people who are competitive skate anywhere from 3 to 6 hours a day plus off-ice conditioning, stretching, etc. So compared to those people, I'm wasn't skating a lot at all, but for someone just trying to get back in the game, it's a good amount. And I loved being able to skate that much. I was so, so, so close at the end of the summer to getting back one of the jumps that I hadn't landed in 2 years. My stamina was up (although a 4 minute program was completely out of the question), I could feel my legs getting stronger, I had quicker reflexes. I tried my best to get back in shape. And I did.

And then at the end of the summer, since I still didn't have a job, I had to make a decision. I could either try to pursue skating and try out for an ice show, meaning I would have to move somewhere for about 4-6 months to do 5 shows a day at an amusement park, on a cruise, or for some company, OR I could try to pursue my writing, meaning I could go to New York and live with my roommate from school, try to get a job to pay the bills in the meantime, and hope for the best. And, obviously, I chose the latter.

I love my roommate and our fantastic apartment, I love working at Anthropologie with my awesome coworkers, I can't wait to start working with Figure Skating with Harlem and teaching girls to skate soon, and I'm optimistic for the future. But at the same time, I'm always going to wonder if I made the right decision. I have several friends who are in skating shows right now, and they ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. And they're people that I've grown up with and competed against probably since we were 12. And some of them get to travel the world on ships and create a small family with their cast mates. And others just get to stay in the States, but go cross-country and also create a family with their cast mates. And they all get to skate which they love. And, of course, I can't help but get jealous. I want to be able to travel the world, I want to be able to create family with cast mates, I want to get all dressed up and wear the costumes, I want to be able to skate because I love it.

But I'm also a person who sticks to their guns. I'm happy with the decision I made and I'm going to make it work. I'm going to pursue my writing and hope that soon I'll get a job with it that makes me happy. And I'm going to try to go skating for myself once a week, if I can. It's going to be hard, because the sessions here cost 3 times as much as home and if I try to skate on a public session there are cones and 3 times more people than I'm used to. But I'll make it work, I'm going to get all my jumps back, and hopefully find a way to keep my personal skating in my life.